Just Want You To Know Who I Am

I lead a double life, it seems. Unfortunately for those of you with active imaginations, I'm not a nigh immortal stuntman-by-day, nigh immortal spandex-wearing crimefighter by night. (Which would probably be hella awesome, to be honest.) No; I'm much less exciting. By whenever-my-parents-are-around, I'm a mild-mannered nerd with a smile too big for any emoticon than a :D. The rest of the time, I'm, well a mild-mannered nerd with an addiction to the :D face, some very eclectic tastes in music, and awesome friends. Doesn't seem too different, right?

Yeah. Well, I forget to mention that the "rest of the time" me has a procrastination addiction, girl troubles, school troubles, a constant sense of longing, an inability to accept complements, and a whole host of other stuff. The "parents" me has just the procrastination and school issues.

So, why do I create these separate facades? The answer is quite simple. It's easier. You may object, "But how can directing your energy into living two lives be easier than one?". Quite easily, actually. The simple truth is that, if I had to deal with my parents being able to see my "rest of the time" life, I don't think I'd be able to do anything at all. They'd be quite surprised, to say the least.

To my parents, I present confidence, joviality, general satisfaction with life. My problems begin and end with school, more or less. My romantic life? Yeah, right! And, my friends? Nerds, just as socially awkward, boring, and quirky in the same was as I!

My non-parental life? I'm confident, jovial, and satisfied; however, that doesn't stop me from feeling like a total wreck or failure sometimes. I mean, it's weird; when I feel like a failure, I'm either in a very bad mood, or appear to be in a great mood. Mainly because I find it therapeutic to laugh at myself. Yes, that sounds somewhat strange. But, I figure; I'm either going to be depressed, or laughing. Might as well go with the more fun one! Also, in reality, I do have somewhat of a love life, if by "Love life" you mean "Series of realizations that I'm kind of pathetic, and just generally boring, which explains a lot about the lack of much going in this one respect." Oh, and my friends? In reality, they're the quirky, cool, non-socially-awkward ones, who surprisingly still hang out with me. (I've said that before, but I'm still honestly surprised I've found such awesome friends, both at school, and elsewhere.)

So, yeah. By day, I'm not much of a man. By night? Actually, to be honest, I'm still not much of a man, even then. I'm just still more or less pretty boring. But I'm pretty sure you already knew that. :D