HOLY SHIT! YOU GOT YOUR RAINBOWS AND MOTHERFUCKING UNICORNS IN MY ESPN!

So, yeah. As it turns out, ESPN has been unicorn'd. You may think I'm crazy, but it's true!!! LOOK!!!

Go, and look at the page. Once you've done that, enter the Konami Code (Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right b, a), and hit enter. UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS!!!

Ah, I love when the internet does awesome stuff.


So, anyway, bloggin' tiemz. So, not much new since my last post. Except for, well, STATES. HOLY SHIT. It was awesome! Except for the parts where I actually needed to do work. But still! Awesome!

So, it all started with a long-ass bus ride on Thursday up to Albany. As it turns out, once you're past the Bronx, New York is nothing but highways and farmland until you hit Albany. Which, while a nice change of scenery, can get pretty damn monotonous after a while. But, at least I wasn't next to anyone intolerable. Although he did steal my phone, call a friend of mine, and call his mom hot. Yeah...thankfully, the person understood that.

So, get to the hotel, go eat some dinner; what are a few teenage guys to do? Why, run to Kmart and buy useless shit! $5 knockoff nerf guns are so goddamn much fun to shoot people with.

Anyway, the next day, things don't start 'til 4:00. So, we all have time to chill, get some nomz, all of that. 'tis quite nice and relaxing.

Aaaand, later on, we start the first rounds. I suck. BAD. My first speech, I have no sources or citations to go on, and have to BS the whole thing. Kinda the same with my next one. And, a tiny bit more of the same with my third. So, not too bad.

Oh, wait, forgot to mention; by the time this whole ting is done, it's 10:00, and I still haven't gotten any dinner. So, quick ride back to the hotel, before the REALLY stupid shit goes down. Anyway, what fast food joint is the perfect cure for the midnight munchies? WENDY'S!!! And, there happened to be one right nearby!

...if by nearby you mean "Across a crosswalkless, busy pseudo-highway that it's a terrible idea to run across." Of course, the most logical course of action was taken. RUN IT! GOGOGOGO!!! Which turned out okay...'til we found out Wendy's was closed. So, we had to run back across the street, down an incline, and into McDonald's, where we finally got some food.

Now, it's the next morning. At 5:00 AM. I had gone to sleep at 1:00. Yeah...I wasn't happy, to understate things. Furthermore, I didn't even get any breakfast! Greaaaat.

So, on no sleep and an empty stomach, my team walks into Albany High School. Things start up, and, like magic, I'm doing something I never thought was possible; not sucking! (Shocking, no?) Talk about tea parties and the Mexican drug trade, all that good stuff. But, I get the feeling that 2 good speeches won't make up for 3 terrible ones, and I start getting ready for impromptu, which I'm confident I'll do okay in. Due to the fact that I'm A+ Pro at going on about random bullshit for as long as necesssary But, a tweest!!!

For some reason, I made it to Semi-Finals. Yeah...I guess I didn't suck as badly as I thought I did. Surprising! Go into the prep room, get a question that can be directly answered by an article in Newsweek. Great. But, I only have enough info for half a speech! So, where do I get the other half? I'll let TvTropes speak for me on this one. It ends up not going very well. But, what're you going to do?

Well, if you're me, you're going to find people to chill with! Doing this was probably one of the better decision I made this weekend. I ended up meeting a person with an awesome hat, for example. Who, in the end, turned out to be more awesome than their hat. Which is saying a lot, given the awesomeness involved here. Oh, and I watch a random guy recite both the Shamwow and the Slap-chop commercial. From memory. With a perfect Vince imitation. EPIC.

So, yeah. That was states. I went, took a bus, made some shit up, got called on it, was last place in semi-finals, and had a great time with it. Overall, that was great.